This is a chapter of a writing experiment I’m undertaking for what I hope will be a novel someday. I know the basic premise, the title, and a few things about the main character. The rest is being written without much of a plan. The book started with this post. You can click on The Formula – A Novel under Categories to see the entire set of chapters to date.

Mike stepped through the door as Jake opened it. Mike Crowe, a tall and strikingly handsome man, entered wearing classic black silk pajamas and slippers, a cup of coffee already in hand. “Hey there Jake.”

Mike bent over a bit and kissed Jake fully on the lips as Jake was closing the door. This is their standard greeting that often raises eyebrows when others witness it. Most write them off as foreigners for whom mouth kissing is part of their culture, or as gay lovers. It seems to bond their friendship, so Mike and Jake keep doing it. Since Mike is gay, or actually more specifically closer to a 4.5-5 on the Kinsey Scale, Jake is often assumed gay as well. They both find it amusing mostly. Mike said the first words.

“So we’re both in Las Vegas and we have no commitments ahead of us for a few days. What do you want to do?”

“I want to sleep in late, eat at a few great restaurants, see a few good shows. Just chill. We both need it.”

“Jake, nowhere in that list did I hear women. At least in your case isn’t that pretty much a necessity?”

Oddly enough, women were not at the forefront of Jake’s mind. As Mike so bluntly implied, they were typically an integral part to Jake’s existence. But the crazy schedule Jake had been keeping lately kept the opposite sex as a lower priority. Perhaps it was time to change that. Just didn’t seem so important this weekend. Hanging out with Mike seemed like more fun.

“No. Not saying I’d turn it down if a beautiful offer crossed my path, but let’s just hang out.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“And, by the way, couldn’t I say the same thing to you? No pursuit of men this weekend? Or are you still seeing that Brazilian?”

“Sort of still seeing the Brazilian, but since when does that matter? You know me.”

“True.”

“So, how was the last adventure? Sorry I couldn’t help. Fashion Week always heats up this time of year and I like the energy there. Got a few great gigs.”

Jake found amusing Mike’s passion for one of the two careers he’s well known for, modeling. It just didn’t seem to sync with the more intellectual Mike that Jake had known since high school. Freshmen year in high school to freshmen year in college was a period of astounding transformation for Mike. He went from bookwormish average meek guy to movie star handsome outgoing stud without losing the smarts.

Jake began to recount his last case (or adventure as Mike preferred calling them).

Today I was having lunch at my favorite lunchtime spot here in my Castro neighborhood in San Francisco. At a nearby table I overheard a conversation that brightened my spirits considerably and gave me hope that our educational system is not a lost cause.

I was so taken with the conversation that I took out my pad and began to jot down the conversation as best I could because I already knew it was prompting me to write this post. (Yes, I eavesdrop sometimes. I learn a lot that way.)

My awareness of the conversation started when I overheard a man saying “So that’s why I chose the academy for my schooling. I have some learning disabilities and at my community college I was on my own. I got no real help from anyone there. It just didn’t work for me. Now I’m on my own, but in a different way and I get lots of help and support in my self-education along with the classes. This works for me in ways regular college classes didn’t.”

As the conversation progressed it became clear that the woman sitting with the man was some type of educational counselor who was likely associated with the academy to which the man referred. She was listening intently as the man explained his situation.

The man continued. “I know there’s no one around this month for me to work with. So my plan is to do a lot of work on my own and then utilize the support and coaching services afterward to help me with any questions that come up from the school work.

The counselor agreed that this was a good approach and gave him strong encouragement and support for the approach he came up with for his own educational goals. Then she began to discuss the associated internship and career development that evidently the man was part of that paralleled his official class work. The man sounded truly excited, motivated and energized about it. He kept explaining how this more self-defined approach to his education, with a real-life internship component, within a formal program that gave him support and guidance, was a much better fit for him and how he liked to learn. He was very excited about it all. How cool.

Then the man talked about looking forward to the three classes he was taking: graphic design, web tools, and American history. Interestingly, he was especially excited about American history because when he took such a class at his previous school he felt he got little out of it and it was actually a subject he was extremely interested in. If you could have heard this guy’s voice, you would have sensed the excitement he had for learning and exploring subjects he was interested in using a learning approach that stylistically really worked for him as someone with learning disabilities and as someone who didn’t feel he fit into the usual classroom-based approach to education.

Then he began to talk about the development of his portfolio and he got really excited. He mentioned how he had previously sought a job in his target field of interest (not sure what field exactly) and that he never got a serious offer from his interviews. He mentioned that the interviewers were mostly interested in his portfolio of work, not his formal education, and he was clearly ecstatic he had found a program that allowed him to pursue his education while building his portfolio at the same time.

The counselor spoke up. “A few things. First, I’m always available to you. Call me. Email me. Text me. Whatever. Reach out to me when you need me. That’s what I’m here for. That goes for your instructors as well. Never hesitate to reach out to your instructors, and to your fellow students, using the various social media and other contact mechanisms we’ve provided to get answers and collaborate with others. Second, I’m glad you’re excited about building your portfolio. It is going to be your calling card to a great job and career eventually. We’ve learned this as we’ve worked with other students.”

Then the man discussed one of his past college instructors saying that she wasn’t a tough grader. Sure, he got an A- in the class, but he knew the whole time he wasn’t getting much out of the class and she was just going through the motions and being overly generous with grades. She was basically a lazy teacher and it bothered him. He wanted someone who challenged him, engaged him, worked with him to achieve rather than just go through the motions. This guy was obviously self-motivated and it was heartening to hear it.

When I finished my lunch I got up and had to say something. I turned to the man and said “I apologize for eavesdropping. All I want to say to you is that you’re going to be incredibly successful in life with your attitude. Keep it up.” I turned to the woman and said “Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re helping people in ways that will impact them positively for the rest of their lives. What a wonderful gift you’re giving your students.” They were a bit stunned, but clearly pleased, and they thanked me as I quickly departed.

This all left me with some hope for the future of education. If it could happen for this guy, it could happen for any student. If this educational program existed for him and in my city of San Francisco, it could exist anywhere for anyone. Creative approaches to education are the only solution to improve what has often become a terribly broken system. Honoring self-education and self-motivation while simultaneously providing instruction, guidance and coaching when needed is a far better way to educate than to simply dole out facts and ideas and ask the student to regurgitate them back through testing. I left that restaurant with hope. It was a great feeling.

I think the future lies in self-education. The ability of an individual to self-educate is what I think will differentiate the successful from the non-successful in the coming years. Knowledge and skill sets grow and change so quickly these days that it’s only through self-education that someone will be able to keep up with the times, both from a professional and personal development standpoint.

The Massachusetts Institute of Technology (M.I.T.) has announced that they intend to launch an online learning initiative called M.I.T.x. The courses will be available free of charge to anyone with an online connection.

This is a really big deal. M.I.T. is doing a wonderful thing by launching this initiative and they are to be commended for their efforts.

I am looking forward to the day when the knowledge, skill and experience we possess will mean as much (or more hopefully) than a college degree. College will remain an important option for many, but I see a future ahead where its importance will lessen over time.

The world we now live in moves so fast with domains of knowledge and skill shifting and maturing at such a rapid rate that static credentialing of such knowledge and skill will mean less and less over time. Ongoing, lifelong learning is the only viable option that makes sense and informal learning is an important component of lifelong learning.

Check out this interesting article discussing the potential of informal learning eventually carrying the same weight as college degrees. Let me know your thoughts.

I just returned from a visit with my parents. I had a wonderful time. I love them so much. And I got to spend some quality time chatting with my dad.

Since it was nearing Christmas, as we sat at the kitchen table my dad was busily writing out his annual Christmas cards to those he wanted to reach out to. But my dad doesn’t do that like many folks do. My dad takes the time to carefully personalize each and every card. He writes a heartfelt note or wish or something that lets the reader know he actually cares. When I was a child my dad wrote a unique poem to me to accompany every gift I received at Christmas (he really did, always amazed me).

For a few of the cards written to those he interacts with on a regular basis, my dad (and mom) not only includes a nice message, but where appropriate include a small amount of thank you cash. They do this for the car valets who take such good care of them when they park their car (they live in Las Vegas where this is common). They do this for their favorite wait staff at their favorite restaurants. They do this for their postman who delivers their mail with care each day. And so on.

What this demonstrated to me was a lesson my father taught me all my life – acknowledge kindness. In this sometimes callous world we live in, it’s important to remember there are some truly great people in it. Some people who provide us with services or products do so with a true dedication to doing it well and with a friendly and caring attitude. In sort, they are kind people.

Of course, it’s important to not only acknowledge kindness from those who provide us services or products, but to anyone in our lives who treat us kindly. There are kind people everywhere. I just happened become acutely aware of it as my dad was thanking certain people.

Not only does acknowledging kindness make the receivers feel good, but it makes the giver feel good. We are biochemically built to react wonderfully when treating others well. Additionally, acknowledging kindness fosters more kindness. When people have good behavior acknowledged, that behavior is reinforced and they are more likely to continue it with other people. Acknowledging kindness begets kindness with a chain reaction that permeates their lives and the lives they touch. How wonderful is that!

So acknowledge the kindness you receive in your life. It will make them feel good. It will make you feel good. And it will foster even more kindness all around.

I agree with the bulk of this video’s contentions when it comes to the college industrial complex being a scam much of the time. It’s why I feel fostering self-education skills, mentorship/internship programs, and leveraging technology for education is so important. We need to move away from the concept that everyone should get a traditional college education in favor of a range of options.

I don’t have the economics background to assess everything this video presents regarding economics, and I’m sure like everything there is a perspective the video producers have that not everyone shares, but I think this video is worth watching in its entirety. You can make up your own mind.

Let me know your thoughts.

This TED talk by Kathryn Schulz is worth watching. So often we push aside our regrets as something to be repressed and not dwelled upon. Perhaps that’s not such a good approach. Maybe we’re supposed to use the information our regrets, and the collective regrets of many, provide us to learn how to live a better life.

Check out the video and let me know what you think.

My father is an amazing man. An amazing father to me, an amazing husband to my mother, an amazing man to everyone. I am lucky and honored to have been birthed and raised by such a fine person.

Dad, you taught me well and this series of posts is my documentation of what you taught me so that perhaps others might find it useful as I did. Maybe our father and son relationship can be brightened even more by knowing that we’ve positively influenced the lives of others, even if only in small ways. What a nice legacy that would be for us.

So let me attempt to do just that.

Dear reader, within the posts that will follow this one will be my attempt to convey to you some of the wisdom I learned from my father, or for which my father’s wisdom served as an entryway into useful knowledge or insight. It is a way I’m honoring my father while doing something I hope will be useful to others. If I were to write these posts as part of a book, I would title the book What my father taught me…and why I am forever grateful.

Each post will be an encapsulation of the wisdom I have gleaned from many years being raised by my father along with the many happy years of an adult relationship with him. Stay tuned to this blog for installments of this post thread. I’m excited to share with you what my father shared with me.

Our current education system in this country, and in much of the industrialized world, needs a complete rework in order to be relevant to the modern era we live in. A friend made me aware of this great animated version of a presentation by the amazing Sir Ken Robinson. I encourage you to take the time to watch it.

I sound like a broken record sometimes when I write about how badly I think our education system is broken. Simply pouring more money into a system that is structurally flawed at its very foundation, as I contend it is, will not fix it. We need to face the reality that our current system is not serving the needs of students or society. Popping out assembly line graduates produced for industrial era objectives isn’t the answer to fostering an educated society that is so vital to fully vibrant and prosperous lives.

Recently on LinkedIn a member of the TED: Ideas Worth Spreading group posted a question to the group members asking how they would teach a child about Christianity without denying evolution. When I jumped into the discussion the thread of responses was already approaching 2,000 in number. A lot of rather emotionally charged and often heated exchanges took place and I admit to tossing in a few verbal grenades into the mix too. Eventually I ended up posting what I’ve repeated below to sum up my views on religion. Any thoughts?

This entire thread, which has gotten way off topic and I know I and others were part of the cause, has made it quite clear what my very religious father once said: You can’t ever really argue, in the true sense, religion and faith. It’s not about facts. It’s not about anything provable. It’s not even about a consensus of opinion on any universal axioms that we can all point to and agree upon. It’s about what spiritual stories resonate with each person, or not, and there is simply no way to intelligently argue or discuss it without spiritual emotionalism showing itself as the core argument foundation (and yes, I see the irony that I’ve tried to do just that and I cop to the emotional basis of my stance too).

Nothing in this thread has given me any reason to veer from my primary directive of simply treating others as I wish to be treated. That “golden rule” concept is really the distillation of the core essence of the best part of all the religious doctrines and dogmas I’ve been exposed to.

I recall in eighth grade when a nun at my Catholic school asked me, as I neared graduation, what I learned in my eight years at that school about Catholicism and my spiritual life. I said something like “be good to others and to yourself and it all takes care of itself in the end.” She was a bit stunned by my response, but she didn’t really have any good counter to my assertion.

I find religion, all religions, to consistently over-complicate what should be a simple thing, how to be a good person. It’s not rocket science. We all know what a good person does and is, but I guess some need some sort of fodder for being that good person. And some want to be able to feel good about belonging to the “right” spiritual camp.

I’ve never bought the argument that God, assuming God exists, is so petty an entity as to actually give a damn about what particular religion anyone adopts or not. It’s about who they are as people and how they act towards other people. Any person walking the face of the Earth who has made every effort to be a good person and live a good life will be in just fine standing with any Creator should such a Creator exist.